The Digital Journalism Blog


On to the next one…

Posted in Uncategorized by com360bu on October 25, 2012
Tags: , , , , , ,

By: Kendra Newlon

Let’s just say relationships aren’t my so called…thing.

That whole idea of lovey-dovey stuff only lasting 6 months is true. The cute texts stopped, flowers were non-existent, and personal grooming was very minimal. Like “don’t-rely-on-your-girlfriend-to-shave-your-shoulders” minimal.

I’ve had my single girl swag for roughly 6 months now, but that hasn’t always been the case.

Unfortunately, I was young and in love for 3 whole years.

HA! I wish I could say things ended decently and that we are still friends. I haven’t spoke to him since we broke up…and don’t ever really plan on doing so in the future. Besides, I’m sure he’s too busy playing with the bleach blonde bimbo I caught him nakie with. Ooops.

Anyways…

People are always nagging me, “Get back on the dating horse” or “Is that your new boyfriend in your profile picture?!” The answer is: no, that’s my brother.

Here is the reason why I am no one’s ball and chain:

This summer I think I had finally found someone to get me out of this relationship slump. My semi-young, cute, new boss has recently become single. And he’s friend requested me at 3:00 a.m. BINGO! He’s the sport jacket-scruffy beard-older man kind of hot. But as usual, there’s a voice inside my head telling me “NO, YOU IDIOT!” Eh, I should probably obey at least one law at this point. ON TO THE NEXT ONE…

Working at a bar that’s the happenin’ place during the summer has many more pitfalls than it does benefits. Like on 4th of July when you’re stuck getting everyone else drunk instead of yourself. But this particular 4th of July I happened to meet a very handsome and athletic man. He tells me he’s from the east coast and is in town because he plays for our local single-A baseball team…as if I hadn’t heard every excuse to try and get a free drink out of me. However, I use my extra keen snooping skills to look up the team roster. Lone behold, there he is…the catcher. Probably the least attractive position in baseball. But my previous dating record holds me to cleat chaser status – and I wouldn’t let this one slip out of my hands. We exchange numbers, I attend a few games, and then BAM! As soon as we met we were instantly ripped away from each other when he was injured and traded to an Arizona team. Womp, Womp, Womp. I still enjoy the few drunken calls I receive from time to time. He keeps telling me he’ll fly me out to visit; I’m still waiting for my plane tickets to arrive in the mail. ON TO THE NEXT ONE..

So at this point, I’ve fallen for my boss and an older baseball player that moved away. I’ve come to the conclusion I should focus my energy on someone maybe my own age.

What about that cute guy that sits next to me in all of my communication classes? I think I’ve worked with him in a project before, but I’m not 100 percent sure. Hmmm…

& did I mention he plays baseball for the school?…I’m a sucker for those baseball pants.

The weekend I have this revelation, I see him out at my favorite bar. I strut by him casually, hoping to make an impact with my hot shorts on and extremely low V-neck shirt. If that doesn’t do the trick, he must be batting for the other team.

Worked like magic. He asked me how my summer went, what classes I planned on taking next semester. And then rolled in the shots like a bat from hell. Tequila, vodka, and Rumpleminze did all the talking for us. The next thing I know I’m waking up at 1 o’clock in the afternoon on the couch of some strange house. I search for my phone, find it, and call my roommates to come rescue me.

I start to put the pieces together of my night through pictures and tweets, and come to the realization that in fact I swapped spit with cute communication boy. Oh yeah, things are heading in the right direction… I think. I go to class the next morning, trying to look extra cute for my make out partner. However, we don’t speak one word to each other- as if nothing happened. He texts me later that day:

“Hey I had a great time last night. I think my girlfriend and me are getting back together so I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I think you’re a great girl and all but I figured I should probably tell you now. I don’t want things to be awkward so I’ll see you in class I guess”

WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT?

Ignore him, obviously. I still get random texts at 3am asking me to hang out…no way buddy. That ship sailed long ago.

What is it with guys these days? Is it that hard to find a decent medium between overly mushy and overly d-baggish? You can’t pick out our future children’s names, nor am I down for whatever kinky things you want to try.

Or am I doing something wrong? Too desperate? I mean I’m not hearing wedding bells in my near future or picking out colors for my future nursery. Help me out ladies.

I just don’t want a relationshit, er -ship. I think for now, I’m going to ride this single train for a little bit longer. These past speed bumps have taught me to appreciate the present & future, whatever it may hold.

Note: This post was written as if it could appear on Single Girl Blogging

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